One of the great paradoxes in life is that the harder we try to do something, the more difficult it will become. I call this “trying too hard”, whereas there is an entire belief in what is known as the dao/tao(the “way”). The dao is a philosophical concept that is equally simple and complex. Simply put, it is a well that is used, but never used up. Complexly put, it is an eternal void filled with infinite possibilities.
The concept of the dao represents two extreme opposites. Good and evil, day and night, masculine and feminine, birth and death, light and dark, being and nonbeing. There is no position within the dao without its negation. Neither may exist without the other and vice versa. You’ve likely seen a yin yang symbol in your lifetime which is one of the best representations of this unification of duality.
There’s many interpretations as to what this symbol represents, but let me continue telling you more about the dao while you piece together your thoughts.
Wu wei is a common idea in Daoism/Taoism. Translated, it means “inaction”. It represents going with the flow of life. To be relaxed and accepting any situation, rather than trying to control it. There are many things we do in our waking lives that we’re unaware of. Our lungs breathe, our heart beats, our brain thinks, our body moves. While these are great examples of inaction, let’s look at what happens when we take action on these things.
When we take action on our breathing, we hyperventilate. When we feel our heart beating, we palpitate. When we overthink our thoughts, we panic. Too much of one extreme is ancient wisdom. From the buddhist concept of “letting go of attachment” to the stoic concept of “everything in moderation” comes a Daoist/Taoist concept of “going with the flow”. These are all the same idea found across the western and eastern worlds.
The less-obvious idea is that of a weight hung from a fixed point that swings freely between two extremes; also known as a pendulum. Life is very much the same. You will oscillate between two extremes regularly through your life. Happiness and sadness, Hope and despair, and Success and failure to name a few.
The lesson commonly taught is that too much of any extreme is unsustainable. If you’re trying too hard, nothing will happen. If you’re not trying at all, everything happens. The pendulum continues to swing under the natural force of gravity and air resistance until it comes to a complete stop, right at the center.
These natural forces act as regular friction to the swings of the extreme. In theory, a pendulum would swing forever, but these events of adversity continue to re-center it. Unfortunately, life doesn’t exist in a vacuum where theory takes place. There are many joys to life as there is suffering. Our strategy to minimize these extremes comes from the idea of re-centering.
There are many ways one can interpret centering oneself. Many religions practice a prayer of accepting the presence and action of their Divine. Zen practices accept an engagement and embody what is arising internally. Even Yoga practitioners use centering as a means to rest the body while completely surrendering to the stresses.
The terms “grounding” and “centering” are typically used interchangeably. When practicing a martial art, you may be told to find your center or to ground your stance. The goal is to create a stable foundation in which we’re ready to take on whatever is thrown our way. Being put off balance or not finding our focus leaves us vulnerable to being devastated.
To not be devastated there is one common thread weaved throughout these schools of thought; acceptance. Acceptance is one of the hardest things to do. Throughout my life I had to accept many hard truths. I had to accept that I was overweight before I could become healthy. I had to accept that I was arrogant before I could become humble. I had to accept that I was selfish before I could become a giver.
Nobody wants to accept the truth. We can’t handle the truth because it distorts our reality. Acceptance gives us one simple thing; awareness. We become aware of what is hidden in plain sight. It becomes real, it becomes essential. Awareness forces change. While I have learned this the hard way, I predict that you will too. You will realize you’re not the center of the universe. You will realize that life as you know it can change overnight. It is not our place to judge these truths, but rather to accept them. The change will happen naturally once we do just that.
Now this is just one interpretation of the truth I see. The capital-T truth is that you get to decide on how you see it.
Why You’re Not In Flow